The halfway point

#newzealand #travel #adventure #mountainbikes

We’ve been travelling now for about two and a half months, we’ve covered three countries in that time and are halfway through a fourth, with one more to go. It feels to me like a trip of parts or phases if you will, we are now entering part 3, Indo-China being part 1, New Zealand so far being part 2. Up until now, by and large, we have been working our way around New Zealand visiting places and sightseeing, and loved every minute of it. However, apart from a week long stop in Wanaka over Christmas, you’ll have noticed that there hasn’t been a massive amount of cycling going on. Well that is set to change. We are going to be slowing the pace down a bit now (or should that be upping the pace 🤔) and focusing on the riding, staying in places longer than a night or two. Fear not, we’ll still be sneeking in some sightseeing along the way.

If you’re not interested in mountain biking, maybe this particular blog isn’t for you, so just skip to the end for the photos. If you are a sportsperson, maybe you can relate to some of this, even if you don’t ride bikes.

Those of you that have been following this blog from the start (thank you and I hope you are enjoying it) may remember that Bloke has signed himself up for a 6 day event at the end of February, the Tranz NZ Enduro (shi-ting! :Bloke) and it’s now time for him to get some big rides under his belt in preparation. Some of you are probably thinking he’s left it a bit late hasn’t he, but there was always going to be a trade off between making the trip about seeing the country or training for the race. We booked the trip first, the race just happened to be on while we are here, so as much as he would love to be as fit as possible (this “race” is likely to amount to”survival” :bloke), the trip came first, this is a once in a lifetime experience.

With bloke off on a big ride, that gives me a rare day on my own to reflect on my own cycling, and inspired by a blog I read yesterday, written by one of my cycling buddies, Joanne, who is much more eloquent than I am, check it out (Write On Track, http://www.keepthepenmoving.me), it’s made me have a bit of a think.

Firstly, I was encouraged to write this blog by several of my friends and acquaintances, and the majority of those were women of roughly my age (45) and older, a few younger, but all of them said the same thing, what I was doing was inspiring. Why I asked? They all answered with more or less them same response…because you are doing it at your age, most people that go off travelling, do it when they are young, not in their mid-forties and most women of your age don’t rag a mountain bike down big hills. I guess they are right, but I’m surrounded by women of my age being rad, there are loads of us you know, I’m not the only one. I suppose what makes this different is the fact that I’m in a position to go off to the other side of the world for 5 months and live the dream. We’re fortunate, I have no children and blokes are of an age where they are having their own adventures. My male friends have said that many people dream of what we are doing, but most of us don’t do it for many reasons, jobs, mortgages, kids etc. I don’t think it’s only the men that have this dream, after all, I had it, I think the mountain biking part of it is easier to understand for the men, the feeling of freedom perhaps to ride you bike whenever you like, equally I know many women who want the same, but have the same entrapments. I do however think that more women of my age feel a little lost, either you have young kids, so life will have changed considerably or the kids are leaving home, and you’re trying to work out what comes next? If you don’t have kids, you question what are you really here for? what’s your purpose? what are you getting out of life? Either way, male or female, this is or can be, another time in your life for big changes to happen.

I’m not so unusual though, there are more and more women of my age and older living rad lives, with exciting hobbies. I started quite late, 26 to be precise. My ex-husband introduced me to this crazy sport of mountain biking and I’ve never looked back. Over the past few years, I’ve met more and more women on the trails, partly because I actively sort them out, via races and events, but partly because there are just more of us now, it’s still a growing sport. I’ve found some fantastic ladies to ride with and formed some brilliant new friendships. Don’t get me wrong, I love riding with the blokes, I still do it more than with the girls but with the age of social media, it’s easier to find new riding buddies. It’s also easy to get hung up on what other people are doing. So here’s the thing…..

I arrived in Queenstown a few days ago and I hit the trails for the first time yesterday. It didn’t go well. Or did it? It’s easy to fake a good ride on social media, one good picture is all it takes, but did you actually enjoy the ride? This applies to men and women, I’m not leaving you out boys, and with any sport and/ or interest you may have, things don’t always go well. You don’t have to crash to have a shit day. It sometimes just happens. I often hear people say “any rides a good ride”, but is it? I don’t think so. I love riding my bike, but there are days were my head will not shut up and the doubts keep coming….Am I too old for this shit? Why can’t I do it? Why does this scare me? If I hate the ups so much, and the downs are so difficult, why am I even doing this? Why can I not hit that jump? So and so can do it and he/she has only been riding for two years! Aarrgh… Then I go out and do another ride.

I’ve heard it said many times, it’s because you don’t want it hard enough, I’m not sure I agree with that statement. There are things I’ve wanted to do for many years on a bike but self-preservation and understanding your own abilities comes in to play, especially as I get older. I may lack self confidence but I certainly don’t suffer with over confidence. I am all too aware of what happens when things go wrong, and that’s the problem, not the lack of wanting it.

I try to put it all into perspective, I really do, but some days there is no reasoning with my head, it just won’t let up. Yesterday was one of those days. We went to Seven Mile Bike Park, I wanted to start off on something a little less full on than the gondola at Skyline Queenstown. Last time we were here (a year ago :bloke) we rode a downhill trail called Rude Rock and I loved it – I’m a reasonably competent rider. I’ve ridden Down Hill trails around Morzine (french alps) and I frequent the bike parks and trail centres at home, so you get the idea (Antur Stiniog, Revo, Bike Park Wales, BMCC – so proper hard DH parks! :bloke). Here comes the but…..I’m inching closer to 50 than I am 40 and I’ve had my fair share of injuries and operations, everything aches, I’ve only just stopped wearing the knee brace from the most recent injury. So with that in mind, I should just be pleased to be riding the trails, but I’m not, I want more. I want to get better, fitter, stronger. Seven Mile was tough, the climbs were technical, maybe not to the locals, they are used to it, but from someone coming from the dizzy heights of Bedfordshire, they are tough. I was so blown out by some of the climbs, that I was not coping too well with the decents. Don’t worry, I tried telling myself, you’ll relax in to. It didn’t happen. And worse still, my bike is a machine made for these trails, I should be able to do this, right?

I had this illusion that travelling around in a motorhome, I’d be up every morning, doing my yoga as normal, but no, that hasn’t happened. In most cases there’s not been the space or suitable surface – many of the campsites are on uneven pitches or surfaces such as gravel, making it impossible for me to get my yoga mat out. And then there’s the small problem of laying off the beer and wine, again I’m finding this hard, I’m on holiday! (And I’m a terrible influence :bloke) Don’t even talk to me about the food, it’s too easy to keep picking up treats or having another burger. And my God, I’m missing the gym, that’s something I never thought I’d hear myself say while on this trip. In short, I’m not feeling quite as fit as I was when I left home.

Back to the ride, it started badly, the climb out of the car park was awful, it had rained heavily and non stop, the day before and most of the climb is in the open, so every root and rock was slippery, there barely seemed to be any earth between them. I walked a large part of it so I felt deflated before we even reached the park. Once we got going on the trails proper, it got a lot better, they were in the trees and nicely protected. I relaxed briefly, but then the hill climbs became more and more technical, lots of steep switchbacks with slabs of rock on them, and those pesky pine cones roll your tyre sideways when you least expect it. The forest, as with everything out here, is gorgeous and every now and then, a break in the trees allows for views over the lake, beautiful! I kept trying to tell myself how bloody lucky I am to be here and just enjoy it, but that’s surprisingly difficult to do when you’re shitting a brick. “These trails are tough and unfamiliar. It makes them feel harder than they should be” bloke tells me, he is so patient and encouraging, I want to punch him out of frustration but I know he’s right. We were expecting XC trails, and yes to the locals they perhaps are, but to me they are the most enduro style trails I’ve ridden to date, technical climbs, sometimes really narrow with rock slabs to get up and over, and downhill style decents, not my average xc ride. The decents were really cool, but I felt so out of my depth, I became too scared to try stuff out. I should have worn my full face and body armour, lesson learned, but the Kiwi’s are hard bastards and they rarely seem to wear much more than an xc lid, no gloves, no pads, hard as nails this lot. (All the tourists seem to be wearing armour… :Bloke)

Which leads me on to my next point. Why do I judge myself against other people? Many of us do it, even if we don’t like to admit to it. Whether it’s wearing, or not wearing your pads or gloves or full faces to feel like you a part of the gang, nobody likes to feel like the idiot that turned up with all the gear and no idea. That kicks your confidence right from the off, but if like me, you feel more comfortable knowing you have some extra protection on, why don’t we wear it?! I still get scared before almost every ride sometimes even if it’s a local ride I know well. But something as apparently small as someone new coming along, raises my tension. It’s stupid, it’s unhelpful and it’s proving to be a difficult thing to crack. Twenty years of riding and some things never change. Uplift days are the worst. Bloke gets excited and chats non-stop, I like to sit in silence, wishing he would shut up. He thinks he’s helping me to take my mind of it, I can’t cope with the voices in my own head, let alone his as well. You pull in to the car park and there’s a sea of blokes looking “hard as” in their full faces and body armour, some girls look for other girls to feel some comradery, I for some reason see them as more of a threat than the men. I assume everyone rides better than me and the other girls will show me up and make me look even worse. I envy their skills, their youth, their confidence. At least if you’re the only girl, you gain respect for just being there. Yet equally, I love seeing more girls/women on the trails. Yes, another thing that makes no sense then. I’ve also seen the look on many mens faces when I’ve whipped (not literary, that only happens in my dreams sadly) past them, some shout “yeeeow” or some other such terms, (it happened last year to me and a girlfriend at Antur Stiniog and we had to ask the kid what he meant when we saw him again later, christ we felt old that day 🙄), others look crushed or worse, pissed off. Nobody enjoys being passed as if you’re going at walking pace irrespective of age or gender. It sucks.

Another thing I’d like to bring up, I hear many riders, particularly those relatively new to the sport, or younger riders than me, (that’s not difficult I know) say things like “every ride makes you a better rider” or “wow, when you come back from here or there, you’ll be so much better”. I can confirm (with the benefit of years of experience), whether it truly does or not is irrelevant, sometimes I feel like I’ve taken a massive leap backwards, not forwards. Some trails, or places, or occasionally people, can dent confidence so much, it can take weeks to get it back. We’ve all had that idiot that thinks he or she knows better, say something inappropriate or unhelpful or the person that rides past you on a trail, like you’re not even there, usually when you are blowing out your arse or can’t get the hang of a section for love nor money, and they go sailing through it, it’s demoralising. I dare say I’ve done it myself to people and not realised.

Back to yesterday then, for just over three hours, I pushed myself both physically and mentally around some gorgeous trails, that tested me to my limits on that particular day. Did I enjoy it? Yes, in a way. Will I go again? Yes. Might my next trip go better? I certainly hope so. Did I learn anything? Yes. Do I have any regrets? Yes, always. The questions don’t stop when the ride finishes. One things for sure though, I’ll be padding up next time and wearing that full face. Tomorrow’s ride always stands a chance of being better than yesterday’s, even if it was a great ride. Maybe that’s just it, that’s why I do it. Tomorrow brings fresh hope of tackling those demons. And let’s face it, as mountainbikers we are often lucky enough to ride in some of the best scenery in the world and so many people don’t get to experience that in the same way we do, and despite the odd off day, we never stop learning and that’s what’s so cool about it.

Finally…..to the chick who rode past me in the full face later in my ride, firstly I would like to say, I wished I had seen you earlier and secondly, I hope the crash didn’t hurt too much, that was a gnarly steep rockface 🤘. To the American XC chick, if only I’d heard you say “I’m used to riding XC and this is not XC”, two hours earlier, I would have felt so much better. And to the guy pushing up the same path I had at the start of the day, I hope by stopping for a quick chat and telling you it gets better after that point, I hope it helped and you enjoyed your ride.

Beautiful views accross the lake.Some very cool trails in here, Gravitron was a favourite.

Mid trail stretches, life in the saddle of a forty something mountain biker 😂

Only helpful if you ever get any phone signal 🙄

At last, a surface smooth enough to do some much needed yoga. What you can’t see is the car park full of people behind me…..when needs must, you give up giving a shit 😁

And lastly…….that all important instagram shot 😂. In all seriousness, if nothing else, sometimes those photos serve to remind you that you did exorcise some demons, even if it was in a very small way. An acclimatisation ride bloke called it, I don’t go near rocks at home without a full face and shoulder protection on (whoop whoop, she smashed it! :Bloke). 😁

P.S…….When I got back from my ride, I was on the mtbchix&trails Facebook page I think it was, and somebody had put up a video of a women who had learnt to skateboard at 61. I love watching people smashing it, regardless of their age but it is so cool when they’re even older than me, it’s so inspiring. Thank you, it made my day.